/dev/null

There are known nouns and unknown nouns,
Disowned nouns and pronouns –
Me I’m now on shutdown,
Anti-known and not proud,
Drug supporter gone loud
For the sake of friends I’ve found
In self-medicated rounds
Of a sound that keeps me grounded.
Usernames and scratch games out
Of such a dull equation, such a pounded
Vertebration of a go on open mouths –
Easy smiles and harsh shouts
Held up to a stout
Style, a year of drought
And meanwhiles thought
To make of thirst my mistress,
Idle wandering a thing of
Aggravated stillness.
The more I drink the more I sink
Into this unnamed illness,
The less I think the least I link
These mood swings to an illness.
Once you best me you’ll arrest me,
You can make of me your puppet –
Heave and leave me on the mantle,
Bring down feelings from the mend.
Deafend and childrend,
Bladed heights and blow friends,
Striking lines like means to end,
Toxic blend and perfect,
Loves best kept between the friendship
We’re too stubb’ to forfeit.
I’m no thrall but I can kneel, make you feel allover –
Boyfriend come six years too late,
Spread too thin to conquer.
We the children of an empire lost,
A coming age of wonder.
Id and ent and ity me,
Growing me on murder sprees,
The use of genius analogy.
An earth off of which to feed,
Deliver stitch and breeding hints
Of superbly fashioned subtlety.
Love at last sight, first breakup,
Inbetween lookups and downs.
Hands down blouses and ripped jeans,
Fingers rousing different means of
Bringing up dead humours
From a breathing thread of fume
(dancing ring of melted looms
heirheading late not sooner).
Stolen spoons and dates in bathrooms,
Impossible fantasy of four years past,
Implied inflections and observant questions,
The forming of affection that a Channel cannot break,
Heritage can’t turn an eye to.
All it takes is one s(l)ip, all I need is one other.
From excess to abscess,
Hair keeps rising from the flat of palms thrown
Fistfirst to an open ground,
A stopping of the pulse I keep around in case
Of real emergency.

Because I will love only once, and then
all
over
again.

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