submundus calais

as if half-born.
as if half-torn or forgetful
of the tone we’ve brought about,
two words we said aloud that
lead to being here. preferring
not to. kindness in an act of
hanging close and closer to you,
in one gurgling preter you over
worlds of better chance. smarter
evens. once at odds with grievance
subs collide. dreams become it.
someone can learn to call this
love, and act upon it. demand it of
the comforts we keep back, the
pressures we feel pressured to
accept. wherein man submerges
here, his death emerges there.
it is certain. harness is a word
for safe, a safeword for secure;
so long as she holds me and
she bleeds the shadow through,
the fever pours don’t worry.
keep forgetting how to swallow,
how to tie your tongue in nothing
but the feathers your spit out,
bones you keep foreboding.
there’s a tension to us that’s
unloading, that is turning
to a ruin of the bodies we
discover. treading light,
and pushing gently.
there’s intention to the
jump and you can’t
save me. there is only
something vague that
you can cling to,
something sad I can
remember. it will come.
I will change.
for the better.

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