halfsame

I’m halfsame, halfdifficult;
wasted youth on principles
of flesh and its repentance.
you are all that represents
the fucks I’ve missed out on,
the weights that I keep carrying.
halfinsane, hands in hand that
hurts me. I allow it. it’s his name
I cannot bear now, the nervous
memory that somehow stretched
still curls toward the centre.
to spread apart, but never enter.
to perpetually be denied.
halfmade to know me better
than to think that I would let her
take sobriety for shame,
hesitation for an exit.
as the nearest door grows outward
I call out, breed the habit. halfdead
and halfflaccid and alltripping.
is a name half the worth I keep
taking for the privilege it’s not?,
the claim I keep forgetting I’m
entitled to. just because she said
she wouldn’t doesn’t mean that I
should take to what she tells me
for the truth when half my
everything is lies that I’ve grown
used to. yes you are and yes I know
you. you are death and I suspect
you to be fond of me, and verily
be calling for my flesh, mistake me
for the worst among the best, the
least amidst the most it may be.
matters not: you will see me.
hanging and
halfbleeding and
a genius. twice everything
you saw yourself ingeniously
rubbing between palms,
feeling between fingers.
there’s a way to double up so
tell me if you mean it.
half from language half
from nothing I will read,
write out the sacred prophecy.
halfthesame this world will burn,
will return to us the nothing
it amounts to. halfmyself
I will acquiesce.

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